success...

Today was not a good day. At least from one perspective. I have been recovering from dental surgery, and although the pain and healing process has been much better than I expected, it still has got me down a little. Work wasn't the greatest either. Sometimes things are shown to you unexpectedly that really show you where you stand with people, or with organizations, or with circumstances. And today, it seemed that things from several vantage points were all coming down on me at once. I admit, I kinda shut down a little and internalized things, (like I always do) and I think that, although maybe not the best practice, it helps me to think things through and to prioritize situations. There have been several things this past week that have made me stop, and really be intentional on how I approach them, as opposed to just flying off the cuff and rushing into things. On one hand, it really made me proud of myself that I had the wisdom to handle it like I did, because Lord knows, I didn't want to. But that is where the positive aspects ended. I guess there comes a point in a man's life when he wants to know if he is valuable. If his work really matters. If he is excelling in what he does. If he is a leader. If he is, what we call, successful. And I have learned this week, (learned in my heart, not just in my head) that it truly depends on where you are looking, and who you find success in. As I said earlier, I got off work tonight and was really down. It felt like everything I had really worked for for the past few years did not matter one bit. Nothing went right, nobody seemed to notice anything I had been doing, and that I was running on empty, and had used all my efforts and energy to end up out of gas on a dead end road. Until tonight. I really hadn't planned on it, but my brother and I went to the mall to just hang out awhile. And as usual, we found ourselves wandering aimlessly around BooksAMillion. (after a stop at Starbucks of course)  I really had nothing to buy there, but I love books, and it felt right to just see what was there. I flipped through several books, and browsed the aisles for anything that caught my attention. And then God spoke to me. Through a bible cover? It might have well have been a flashing neon billboard right there in the middle of the store. (and what was I doing looking in the Bible covers anyway...I really dont care for them personally...) Right there in front of me, on the front of the cover was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (ESV)... I honestly wanted to cry right then and there...but I couldn't. Tanner was right there, and I would never hear the end of it. Anyways, I came home and went to Jeremiah, and kept reading... "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." (vs 12-13). What a great passage, and what a greater hope. He knows our future, and He has a plan for me. I needed to hear that tonight, and His word was faithful and in perfect harmony with his will for me this week. I just have to remain faithful in what He has called me to do, no matter how small I think His plans may be. It's in Christ I find true success and in Him I find a hope and calling for my life. And I'll be the first to admit, it's hard...really really hard to trust in that sometimes. My ways are definitely not His ways, and sometimes it takes big events to chip away at my pride so I can see this. But He is faithful. I will be the first to admit it, I don't have all the answers, and I confess, that I doubt my leadership abilities more than anyone. I have a hard time looking past my failures and shortcomings, but this one thing I do know. He has a plan for me, a plan for life of hope and meaning. And He has one for you. Success.. it's not found in a job, or money, or status, or influence. It's found in Jeremiah 29: 13...when we seek Him with our whole heart...