Sometimes life is so hectic that when moments of silent reflection come, those moments hit you like a ton of bricks. We forget that we are programmed to get away from it all and reflect on things from time to time. Meditating, reflecting, whatever you want to call it, hurts sometimes. I am not saying it is all bad things, but that it is sometimes a very personal, painful reminder of the humanity and fragility of our situations. I think that is why we stay so busy, so preoccupied with activity, so that we will not be haunted by the voices of our shortcomings as they can be usually drowned out by life and leisure.
Tonight I was sitting on my couch, with my entire family sound asleep, and just had some music in the background. (Ok, so this is pretty much every night of my life) I usually take this time to read, to write music, or browse social media, but tonight, I just took some time to stop and meditate on life, and where I am on my journey. Career, finances, family, calendar events, social responsibilities, personal struggles, reflections on scripture, regrets, everything was on the table. Things I said to my boys today, how I handled my tone in disciplining them, how I treated and if I brought honor and respect to my wife, how I conducted myself at work, how I honored (or didn't honor) Christ with how I handled my money, how I budgeted my time, how I conducted myself in those times when no one but God sees what I do, what I am doing to establish and cultivate a cultural/spiritual/family heritage to pass along to my children and hopefully their children down the road, and so on... To be honest, I really don't know what to do with this much information all at once. How in the world am I really supposed to even kid myself about worrying about mutual fund growth, and navigating the financial landscape for my family when I cannot even navigate around my living room without having to avoid land mines of die-cast cars? How are Daddys supposed to instill values character and have all the right answers for two little boys that look up to him when Daddy is just as unsure as they are? Sure I know most of the words to say, know how to handle myself in most situations, but the reality of life is, (I'm finding out) is that everyone is just as dependent on grace and mercy as anyone else, no matter where they are in life or spiritual journey. Humility in regard to my spiritual leadership, as Matthew 18:2-4 reflects, must be modeled in my life with humility. I am learning to treat every new day with the same fresh child-like humility when it comes to my need of His grace and mercy in my life.
This being said I still am scared to death of screwing up. I stay up many nights thinking of my life, and how one little slip, one mistake would devastate my life, and impact the life of my family. I am to much of a realist, and not naive to think that I am above anything. One look, one bad decision could ruin my marriage. One decision, one moment of indiscretion could cost me my job. One act of carelessness could impact the lives of my wife, my children or complete strangers. I think this has been a reason, in the past, that I have typically been afraid of church leadership, of commitment, of radical faith. I know myself, how bad of an addictive personality I have a tendency to lean on, and I still struggle with these things to this very day. Not just for me, but for the reputation of my family as well, I still struggle with the thought of screwing up so badly that a lifetime of hurt and consequences follow. I know this may not be the best way to approach his story, but because of all this, I love to read the story of Peter. Bold, boisterous, headstrong, a born leader. And also the biggest failure when the first true test of faith and loyalty came. Peter, the rock that Christ built his church upon, and how Christ reconciled him, his story is just so encouraging to me when I get overwhelmed with the many responsibilities I have as a father, husband, manager, and child on God, and how no matter what comes in life, what decisions you make, and what regrets you have, His forgiveness will always be more than enough to reconcile you back to Him. This does not guarantee a lifetime of success or holiness, but it does provide hope to me knowing how desperate I am for His guidance and help.
This is just but some of the thoughts I had tonight, and much more is running through my head, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on this to encourage someone to just slow down and really see what God is trying to tell you. Sometimes He works through grand events, and huge plans, and sometimes He uses the small things in life to refocus our lives. It doesn't have to come from careers, but sippy cups. He doesn't always get your attention with mutual funds, sometimes He uses Matchbox cars...
-Trey
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Kamel...
I dont think I have ever felt the Spirit of the Lord so present as I have tonight. As I write, it is 1AM, and I have just finished up an hour and a half conversation with a man named Kamel. Kamel is hurting. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally. As I approched him at the front door of Amelies, he was stumbling. I had just got done speaking with a distraught homosexual guy that was really unreceptive to a conversation of any kind. He had just had a huge fight with his friend, and had his head down crying outside at a table alone. We briefly talked and as the conversation went nowhere I asked him if I could pray for him, and he responded with "no, I'm good." I was a little down, as I was really praying that this would be an opportunity to share the gospel. Thats when I saw Kamel, looking to me as a typical drunk man trying to hold himself up. Not really looking to get into deep conversation with him, but to lend a helping hand and make sure he didnt fall, I asked if he needed help. As we chatted, I suddenly realized that I was in for a supernatural encounter...
Kamel is a Muslim man from Lebanon. He loves American football and enjoys playing basketball. He has lived in Charlotte for most of his "American life" but has also lived in Toledo, New York, Indiana, and Detroit. His favorite food is Subway, and although he loves salt, does not put it on his food anymore. Kamel also suffered a crippling stroke about two weeks ago, which is why he was stumbling trying to walk to his car, which by the way, is also his home right now. A 50 something year old man completely broke down in my arms and brought me to tears. His parents are dead, and he has no family whatsoever. He was at the end of his rope, and had contemplated suicide. He has very little money, and works where and how he can to afford gas to keep his car running on hot days/cold nights. He could barely move his left arm, but was so happy to show me his progress, and the fact that he defied the doctors and was able to even walk. He broke down in tears every few minutes and thanked me for stopping to talk to him, as I had been the only person to talk to him all day. Throughout the conversation, I was able to sharte the fact that I was a believer of Christ, and was able to share the gospel message to him. He was so open and receptive to what I was saying, and just kept thanking me for caring enough to show concern for him. He said that he was afraid to die, and I got the share the hope of Christ, and the way He conquered death. I cannot tell you how amazing this time was just pouring myself into a person with no hope whatsoever. Before he left, he gave me the opportunity to lay hands on him and pray over the stroke-crippled arms and hands of his, and sobbed as I asked Christ to heal him through His power, and that He would restore hope in him through physical and emotional provisions. (this was such an awesome sight at the front door of Amelies) This was the power of the gospel.
I pray that as you read this, God is laying on your hearet to help me reach this man. I dont know what is going to happen, but I am meeting him back here tomorrow night, and told him that through Christ, I was obligated to help him. I need help you guys. I want to provide him with a Subway card so he can buy some meals, and a gas card so he can have a little to run his car. I have no clue about the medical bills, as I'm guessing his bills are probably going to be written off, but I asked him what needs I could meet for him, and the first thing he said was a gym membership. A little taken back, I finally got what he was asking (through his broken English) and he was self-rehabbing, and the medical rehab place had kicked him out after the second day. All he wanted was a membership of any kind to a gym off Central Avenue so he could rehab his arms and legs. He later broke down and admitted that any place to stay was a need of his as well, although he was grateful to have a car to live in. My heart was broken, as I saw the result of years and years of hopelesness finally taken a toll on his spirit and soul. This was why I was sent here tonight. This is why the gospel exists.
I ask for specific personal prayers for Kamel, as the seed of the gospel has been planted in his heart. I pray that Christ uses me, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to show him His love, and the hope of salvation through Him.
This is the power of the gospel...
-Trey
Kamel is a Muslim man from Lebanon. He loves American football and enjoys playing basketball. He has lived in Charlotte for most of his "American life" but has also lived in Toledo, New York, Indiana, and Detroit. His favorite food is Subway, and although he loves salt, does not put it on his food anymore. Kamel also suffered a crippling stroke about two weeks ago, which is why he was stumbling trying to walk to his car, which by the way, is also his home right now. A 50 something year old man completely broke down in my arms and brought me to tears. His parents are dead, and he has no family whatsoever. He was at the end of his rope, and had contemplated suicide. He has very little money, and works where and how he can to afford gas to keep his car running on hot days/cold nights. He could barely move his left arm, but was so happy to show me his progress, and the fact that he defied the doctors and was able to even walk. He broke down in tears every few minutes and thanked me for stopping to talk to him, as I had been the only person to talk to him all day. Throughout the conversation, I was able to sharte the fact that I was a believer of Christ, and was able to share the gospel message to him. He was so open and receptive to what I was saying, and just kept thanking me for caring enough to show concern for him. He said that he was afraid to die, and I got the share the hope of Christ, and the way He conquered death. I cannot tell you how amazing this time was just pouring myself into a person with no hope whatsoever. Before he left, he gave me the opportunity to lay hands on him and pray over the stroke-crippled arms and hands of his, and sobbed as I asked Christ to heal him through His power, and that He would restore hope in him through physical and emotional provisions. (this was such an awesome sight at the front door of Amelies) This was the power of the gospel.
I pray that as you read this, God is laying on your hearet to help me reach this man. I dont know what is going to happen, but I am meeting him back here tomorrow night, and told him that through Christ, I was obligated to help him. I need help you guys. I want to provide him with a Subway card so he can buy some meals, and a gas card so he can have a little to run his car. I have no clue about the medical bills, as I'm guessing his bills are probably going to be written off, but I asked him what needs I could meet for him, and the first thing he said was a gym membership. A little taken back, I finally got what he was asking (through his broken English) and he was self-rehabbing, and the medical rehab place had kicked him out after the second day. All he wanted was a membership of any kind to a gym off Central Avenue so he could rehab his arms and legs. He later broke down and admitted that any place to stay was a need of his as well, although he was grateful to have a car to live in. My heart was broken, as I saw the result of years and years of hopelesness finally taken a toll on his spirit and soul. This was why I was sent here tonight. This is why the gospel exists.
I ask for specific personal prayers for Kamel, as the seed of the gospel has been planted in his heart. I pray that Christ uses me, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to show him His love, and the hope of salvation through Him.
This is the power of the gospel...
-Trey
Change of plans...
I sit here writing this right now from the atrium at Amelies Bakery in NoDa. I'll be honest, it was a rough day for me personally, and after a long time of prayer and reflection on the way home, a little time spent with my family, a hard workout at the gym, and a long conversation with my freind Zack, I came up here to reflect, read, write, and recharge myself (with help from a large espresso roast French press I might add...) As I sit here, observing the people around me, I can't help but notice that the creative juices have been completely wiped out tonight, and I am wrestling with some things. I feel compelled to share the gospel, and connect with others. It is not something that comes natural for me, but it is something that, as a follower of Christ, and a recipient of unmerited grace, I am called to do. My heart is racing right now as I think about what God has been orchestrating in my life, as well as those around me, to bring me to this exact place in time, for His sake. I would ask that as you read this, you not only pray for my boldness and obedience to the great commision, but that the conversations that I have in the next few minutes/hours would be fruitful and Christ-centered. Pray for the seed of the gospel to penetrate broken, hurting lives and reconcile, by His merit, sinful souls to the holiness of the Father. He must increase, I must decrease...
-Trey
-Trey
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
A renewed vision...
Where do I even start with this one? It has been very long since my last post, and a lot has changed in my life. Looking back, I haven't posted anything since before we had our second boy, Mack. What a blessing, (and lifestyle change) he has been! Everyone said that having multiple children changes everything, and were they ever right. We have moved houses (again), and Julie has a new job. You don't realize just how much your life has changed, and how God has brought you through so many circumstances, until you stop, look back, and reflect on just where you are...It's funny how you worry about change, and through the good and the bad, you just "live life" and God works out all the details without you even realizing what is happening. Being a father to two little boys has been incredible. The joy that they bring to both my life, and Julie's is overwhelming. God has truly blessed us beyond measure with their presence, health, and laughter. It is hard to even remember what it was like with just one, much less without both of them. (I vaguely recall more money and more free time...) Julie has been such an incredible mother, friend, and champion in our household through everything. I truly don't know how she has the strength and will to do all she does most days, and she has such an amazing spirit through the good, as well as the challenging times. I thank God every day that He brought her into my life, and that through His providence, He has made us one in Him.
As for me, recently God has been challenging me in ways like never before. Through a lot of the changes I listed previously, as well as some other external factors, I hate to say, but I (some necessarily) had buried many of my passions, desires, and cast visions. Although just a season, it was still difficult to go through. Music, worship, artistic outlets, service to the church and community, discipleship, etc... they all were put on the back burner of priorities in my life. I think in the name of being responsible, I abandoned my First Love. I still struggle with what a healthy balance looks like between my professional career, personal life, family relationships, and marriage, but recently, I have given everything, including the "plan" I had mentally for my life, a re-evaluation, and have re-examined everything in light of the gospel, and how it hold up to the authority of scripture. What I have found is that it is both the scariest, and most freeing action you can take. As the leader of my household, I want nothing more than stability and comfort for my family, but as a child of God, I know that the pressure and weight I was putting on myself, and my vision for our family, while seemingly healthy, was not the radical faith-based vision that God has for us. A tough pill to swallow, but how awesome our God! I am currently in the middle of vision casting, praying, and sorting through God's will for my life, as well as my family's. I would covet your prayers during this time, as I seek God's direction for me.
On a side note, Julie and I have really focused on our health, lifestyle, and eating habits, and by support from family, friends, discipline, and encouraging each other, we have made the first steps in getting ourselves back healthy for both ourselves and our children, but also to glorify God in everything we do. We feel better than we have in a long time, and as we continue our journey, we ask for prayers and support as well. (just don't send brownies...)
God has burdened my heart with so many things, and many more topics, and I plan to blog on a more frequent basis, as to keep everyone up to date with what God is doing in my life, and in the everyday life of my family. We love each and every one of you, and look forward to what God has in store for us...
-Trey
As for me, recently God has been challenging me in ways like never before. Through a lot of the changes I listed previously, as well as some other external factors, I hate to say, but I (some necessarily) had buried many of my passions, desires, and cast visions. Although just a season, it was still difficult to go through. Music, worship, artistic outlets, service to the church and community, discipleship, etc... they all were put on the back burner of priorities in my life. I think in the name of being responsible, I abandoned my First Love. I still struggle with what a healthy balance looks like between my professional career, personal life, family relationships, and marriage, but recently, I have given everything, including the "plan" I had mentally for my life, a re-evaluation, and have re-examined everything in light of the gospel, and how it hold up to the authority of scripture. What I have found is that it is both the scariest, and most freeing action you can take. As the leader of my household, I want nothing more than stability and comfort for my family, but as a child of God, I know that the pressure and weight I was putting on myself, and my vision for our family, while seemingly healthy, was not the radical faith-based vision that God has for us. A tough pill to swallow, but how awesome our God! I am currently in the middle of vision casting, praying, and sorting through God's will for my life, as well as my family's. I would covet your prayers during this time, as I seek God's direction for me.
On a side note, Julie and I have really focused on our health, lifestyle, and eating habits, and by support from family, friends, discipline, and encouraging each other, we have made the first steps in getting ourselves back healthy for both ourselves and our children, but also to glorify God in everything we do. We feel better than we have in a long time, and as we continue our journey, we ask for prayers and support as well. (just don't send brownies...)
God has burdened my heart with so many things, and many more topics, and I plan to blog on a more frequent basis, as to keep everyone up to date with what God is doing in my life, and in the everyday life of my family. We love each and every one of you, and look forward to what God has in store for us...
-Trey
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Ivory and space...
Tonight I was at Jacksons Java, reading, writing a little, and catching up with some friends. Once every week or so, I try to catch a night like this and get away from the routine, and have some quality time to myself to stop and reflect on what God is doing in my life, and how ultimately I can see His glory in it all. I really went alone, like I said, to have some reflection time, but ended up talking to the college women's bible study that happened to be there. It encouraged me so much to see faithful, Godly girls, pausing their busy schedules, and diving into God's word, exploring the attributes of God. (A table full of girls studying Piper...guys, you better step up your game, just saying!...) Also, my brother and two of his friends came by and I really enjoyed catching up with them as well...
After everyone left, I had a little time to myself to just sit back and enjoy the coffee, and some good music. Most of the night, it was an eclectic blend of world music, some jazz fusion, and indie-type singer songwriter stuff playing in the background, but I caught myself really interested in this one particular piano driven slow jazz song. What caught me was the melody. Not your typical chord-run based jazz, or even standard romantic slow number, this one was so different because of the simplistic melody it presented. Nothing showy, and not blended with your typical complex backing, this seemed intentionally simple to listen to. But it wasn't the song that I caught myself thinking about, it was my reaction. Even though I was trying to enjoy the simple melodic presentation of the song, I found myself tapping my feet, trying to find a rhythm, a beat, or any type of syncopated structure that I could frame this in. But I couldn't. I found myself subconsciously trying to put this song within framework that it was never intended to go in.
What hit me was what God was showing me through this seemingly trivial experience. Sometimes His plan, his melody for our lives, is so simple, so pure, that we find ourselves trying to frame it within the confines of our busy, scheduled, routine life that we have, and it doesn't work. Sometimes we try to understand His sovereignty in ways it was never meant to be understood in. God does not work within our concept of time. He is timeless. He does not move through the lens of our comprehension, He is omniscient. He is God, and who are we to question His ways...
While we are looking for our beat, we are missing His melody...
What a humbling thought, and I had to stop and write these few lines in worshipful response to what He was teaching me:
Such a simple melody
Ivory and space
We force the hand of rhythm
And change the nature of this place
Free from the chains of tempo
And syncopated time
My soul will find contentment
In melody and rhyme
Upon these pillars sanctified
By expression's humble cry
Of worship so harmonious
All vain glories cannot vie
He is God, and who are we to question His ways...
Job 38...Selah
-Trey
After everyone left, I had a little time to myself to just sit back and enjoy the coffee, and some good music. Most of the night, it was an eclectic blend of world music, some jazz fusion, and indie-type singer songwriter stuff playing in the background, but I caught myself really interested in this one particular piano driven slow jazz song. What caught me was the melody. Not your typical chord-run based jazz, or even standard romantic slow number, this one was so different because of the simplistic melody it presented. Nothing showy, and not blended with your typical complex backing, this seemed intentionally simple to listen to. But it wasn't the song that I caught myself thinking about, it was my reaction. Even though I was trying to enjoy the simple melodic presentation of the song, I found myself tapping my feet, trying to find a rhythm, a beat, or any type of syncopated structure that I could frame this in. But I couldn't. I found myself subconsciously trying to put this song within framework that it was never intended to go in.
What hit me was what God was showing me through this seemingly trivial experience. Sometimes His plan, his melody for our lives, is so simple, so pure, that we find ourselves trying to frame it within the confines of our busy, scheduled, routine life that we have, and it doesn't work. Sometimes we try to understand His sovereignty in ways it was never meant to be understood in. God does not work within our concept of time. He is timeless. He does not move through the lens of our comprehension, He is omniscient. He is God, and who are we to question His ways...
While we are looking for our beat, we are missing His melody...
What a humbling thought, and I had to stop and write these few lines in worshipful response to what He was teaching me:
Such a simple melody
Ivory and space
We force the hand of rhythm
And change the nature of this place
Free from the chains of tempo
And syncopated time
My soul will find contentment
In melody and rhyme
Upon these pillars sanctified
By expression's humble cry
Of worship so harmonious
All vain glories cannot vie
He is God, and who are we to question His ways...
Job 38...Selah
-Trey
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Reflections on a home...
Warped by years of living,
A testament to will
Shaped by love, yet cracks abound
And hope it offers still
A sentimental journey
Of mortar, rock, and tree
Generations of identity
Have molded what makes me
Humble in its nature
Abounding not in space or size
Character and necessity,
Not pretension, is its prize
Surrounded by aging glory
The elders of the land
Like patriarchs they stand esteemed
These oaks time will withstand
All the golden times of joy
Like pictures on the wall
Has all been framed by this old house
When memory comes to call
But like an empty canvass
This old square structure stands
To capture strokes of future love
From grace's steady hands
Trey Long 10/2/2012
A testament to will
Shaped by love, yet cracks abound
And hope it offers still
A sentimental journey
Of mortar, rock, and tree
Generations of identity
Have molded what makes me
Humble in its nature
Abounding not in space or size
Character and necessity,
Not pretension, is its prize
Surrounded by aging glory
The elders of the land
Like patriarchs they stand esteemed
These oaks time will withstand
All the golden times of joy
Like pictures on the wall
Has all been framed by this old house
When memory comes to call
But like an empty canvass
This old square structure stands
To capture strokes of future love
From grace's steady hands
Trey Long 10/2/2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
faithful...
Let me begin by saying how blessed we are. Julie and I cannot express or convey just how good that God has been to us lately. From the everyday things to the extraordinary events surrounding us, let me say that the Lord has answered our prayers and has drawn closer to us than ever before. One of the biggest areas He has been faithful to us is in our child. Tucker is such a wonderful kid, and we have been given the incredible opportunity to be his parents, and feel blessed to be given the responsibility to instruct and teach him in the ways of Him. Having a first child is such and incredible, humbling, but scary experience. No, we have not been perfect, but every time we needed help, guidance, or anything else in dealing with this huge responsibility, God has shown us, through His Word, through wisdom of others, and through help and guidance of family and friends, that He is sufficient, and He will provide for us everything we need. Every time I see that huge smile, hear his contagious laugh, or see him learning, growing, and experiencing new things, the Lord is revealing Himself, and teaching Julie and I lessons that show His sovereignty and His character. Its amazing how such simple things from a 2 year old can reveal truths so rich in hope and faithfulness. Tucker has been such a blessing, and I continually pray for his continued health, growth, and that the Spirit starts working in His heart for the acceptance of the seed of the Gospel.
God has been faithful to us in several other areas as well. I first have to say that the way He has provided for us financially has been nothing short of amazing. From the blessing of steady income, and careers that have supported our short and long term goals, we are learning not to take anything for granted. He has been faithful in that through 6 years of marriage, two states, several moves, and on and on, God has always proved Himself reliable and a rock in whom we can go to to provide for us. Whether it be from steady paychecks, to unwarranted and unpredictable checks provided to us at just the right time, He has proven faithful, and Has shown us that you cannot out give, out bless, or out provide Him. Glory to Him! Now saying this, I admit that all the times we have not remained faithful to the will and direction of Him financially. What I will say is that at the end of the day, when I thought there was no way out, when all options had been exhausted, and I wasn't sure how everything would turn out, He came through. Funny looking back, but most of the time NOT AT ALL how I thought it would happen, but nonetheless, He proved faithful. He has shown us recently some areas where we have not been honoring Him as we should, and thought it has not always been easy or convenient, and I still don't know how everything will pan out, even at this very moment, wow has the hope of Christ been the most amazing thing. I will say this, to preach a quick sermon: give it all to Him. Not just what is overwhelming you. The things you are falling back on as a safety net and comfort are those things that You are replacing Him with. This has been very near to my heart today. God wants it all, not just part. You cannot live out the gospel and be on the verge of collapse financially. You cannot be living by the Spirit and be addicted to things that oppose His heart. I wept at the thought of Revelation 3:16 and the thought of appearing before my Savior, who had given up His majesty and splendor to redeem me, and being considered lukewarm before Him. I could not continue to appear confident and worthy of leadership in one area of my life, while being unfaithful and not what the Lord has called me to be in another. I had to be all in. And as I said earlier, He is still purifying me, as I am by no means perfect and complete. But He has been faithful through the process, being my strength when I was being tested, my hope when there looked like there wasn't any, and my sufficiency, when I felt inadequate in my calling as His child, as a husband, and as a father myself. I wish I could go into details on just how He has, and continues to provide this, and maybe when God has brought us through on the other side of this journey, He will allow me specify all of the details, blessings, and trials He used to get me and my family where He wanted us to be.
Another way He has provided faithful to me is a little more personal. And that has been in the incredible soul mate that He has provided me in Julie. What an incredible woman of God, a supportive wife, and a loving mother she is. Thinking back on our journey together, it's funny to realize just how big a development your relationship has been. How you thought you knew everything about a person when you marry them. What has been so great is to go through those tough times together, those times where it seems they are all you have, (and sometimes not), and to see the strengthening and bonding that happens as a result. I know, comparatively speaking, that we are still fairly young in our marriage, and although we have a lifetime ahead of us, God willing, the support she gives me as a husband has been the rock I have needed to get through sometimes. The love she has demonstrated in the creation, development and nurturing of Tucker, as well as baby #2 on the way, has reflected and shown me the love I needed to experience when I needed it. The sacrifices she has made as an individual to better the life of our family as a whole speaks volumes about the heart that she has for her God and family. Just tonight, her selfless attitude spoke to me in a way that conveyed the peace and comfort of Christ into the deepest part of my soul. She is truly my soul mate, and cannot fathom going on this journey without her by my side...
I just wanted to put into words tonight just how faithful my God has been. Through the good times, the bad times, the times I have not deserved to experience, and the ones that I have brought on myself, He has never failed me...never. He still is refining me, and is refining you. He loves us, and wants the best for us. We just have to give Him our all...
-Trey
God has been faithful to us in several other areas as well. I first have to say that the way He has provided for us financially has been nothing short of amazing. From the blessing of steady income, and careers that have supported our short and long term goals, we are learning not to take anything for granted. He has been faithful in that through 6 years of marriage, two states, several moves, and on and on, God has always proved Himself reliable and a rock in whom we can go to to provide for us. Whether it be from steady paychecks, to unwarranted and unpredictable checks provided to us at just the right time, He has proven faithful, and Has shown us that you cannot out give, out bless, or out provide Him. Glory to Him! Now saying this, I admit that all the times we have not remained faithful to the will and direction of Him financially. What I will say is that at the end of the day, when I thought there was no way out, when all options had been exhausted, and I wasn't sure how everything would turn out, He came through. Funny looking back, but most of the time NOT AT ALL how I thought it would happen, but nonetheless, He proved faithful. He has shown us recently some areas where we have not been honoring Him as we should, and thought it has not always been easy or convenient, and I still don't know how everything will pan out, even at this very moment, wow has the hope of Christ been the most amazing thing. I will say this, to preach a quick sermon: give it all to Him. Not just what is overwhelming you. The things you are falling back on as a safety net and comfort are those things that You are replacing Him with. This has been very near to my heart today. God wants it all, not just part. You cannot live out the gospel and be on the verge of collapse financially. You cannot be living by the Spirit and be addicted to things that oppose His heart. I wept at the thought of Revelation 3:16 and the thought of appearing before my Savior, who had given up His majesty and splendor to redeem me, and being considered lukewarm before Him. I could not continue to appear confident and worthy of leadership in one area of my life, while being unfaithful and not what the Lord has called me to be in another. I had to be all in. And as I said earlier, He is still purifying me, as I am by no means perfect and complete. But He has been faithful through the process, being my strength when I was being tested, my hope when there looked like there wasn't any, and my sufficiency, when I felt inadequate in my calling as His child, as a husband, and as a father myself. I wish I could go into details on just how He has, and continues to provide this, and maybe when God has brought us through on the other side of this journey, He will allow me specify all of the details, blessings, and trials He used to get me and my family where He wanted us to be.
Another way He has provided faithful to me is a little more personal. And that has been in the incredible soul mate that He has provided me in Julie. What an incredible woman of God, a supportive wife, and a loving mother she is. Thinking back on our journey together, it's funny to realize just how big a development your relationship has been. How you thought you knew everything about a person when you marry them. What has been so great is to go through those tough times together, those times where it seems they are all you have, (and sometimes not), and to see the strengthening and bonding that happens as a result. I know, comparatively speaking, that we are still fairly young in our marriage, and although we have a lifetime ahead of us, God willing, the support she gives me as a husband has been the rock I have needed to get through sometimes. The love she has demonstrated in the creation, development and nurturing of Tucker, as well as baby #2 on the way, has reflected and shown me the love I needed to experience when I needed it. The sacrifices she has made as an individual to better the life of our family as a whole speaks volumes about the heart that she has for her God and family. Just tonight, her selfless attitude spoke to me in a way that conveyed the peace and comfort of Christ into the deepest part of my soul. She is truly my soul mate, and cannot fathom going on this journey without her by my side...
I just wanted to put into words tonight just how faithful my God has been. Through the good times, the bad times, the times I have not deserved to experience, and the ones that I have brought on myself, He has never failed me...never. He still is refining me, and is refining you. He loves us, and wants the best for us. We just have to give Him our all...
-Trey
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