Words fail me sometimes
In a desert, in a jungle
Searching for my place
That I know I am supposed to be
Like a blank paper before me
Your will beckons the spirit in me
To write, to create…
But what?
Decisions stand before me like
Buttons on the keys…
All jumbled, all independent
Yet destined to be used, to be connected
In the desert I ran
To a mirage of dead ends I ran
I, for my own end, I ran
Only to find You, and You only
Here in the jungle I stand
With life all around
Beautiful bountiful works displayed
But here I stand, overwhelmed by the fingerprint of You
In the end, it is You
The only constant, the only truth
But Your ways are not mine
And so I pause…
And take a deep breath
And wait for You
For words fail me sometimes
In a desert, in a jungle
Searching for my place
That I know I am supposed to be
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
wrath and propitiation...
Earlier this evening, I had a privilege to hang out with some college students and have a Q&A session on some theological topics. Questions such as: "Does God care about the details in our lives" to "Is the Lord's Supper literally Christ's body and blood" and "Is the God of the Old Testament the same God as the New Testament" provided great discussion, and more importantly, time diving through scriptures to base our stances on the Word of God, and not just mere opinion. I truly love spending time with these students, and I am so proud of the heart they have for the Gospel. Toward the end of the last question, I shared my thoughts on the wrath of God, Old Testament covenant vs. New Testament propitiation, and so forth, and as good as I tried to explain what I thought the scriptures were teaching us about what Calvary did to change our relationship towards God. Tonight I came home and tried to wrap my mind around exactly what God was trying to communicate, and I came across this paragraph that summed it up so beautifully...
"The doctrine of the propitiation is precisely this: that God loved the objects of His wrath so much that He gave His own Son to the end that He by His blood should make provision for the removal of His wrath. It was Christ's so to deal with the wrath that the loved would no longer be the objects of wrath, and love would achieve its aim of making the children of wrath the children of God's good pleasure." -John Murray
Such a wonderful thought, such a glorious hope, such an undeserved love...
"The doctrine of the propitiation is precisely this: that God loved the objects of His wrath so much that He gave His own Son to the end that He by His blood should make provision for the removal of His wrath. It was Christ's so to deal with the wrath that the loved would no longer be the objects of wrath, and love would achieve its aim of making the children of wrath the children of God's good pleasure." -John Murray
Such a wonderful thought, such a glorious hope, such an undeserved love...
Sunday, February 19, 2012
our journey...
I am so excited about life lately. Don't get me wrong, there have been numerous things that haven't exactly gone as planned, and there have been many things that my family and I have had to go through, but my heart is as full as it has ever been. My journey has led me to a place where circumstances are what they are. They don't define me, but instead I am starting to see the bigger picture, and how God works all things out for our good. Do I still have questions and apprehensions about the future, sure. Do I always know exactly how everything is going to turn out, no. But through all the text, through all the paragraphs of events in my life, the book that is my journey is starting to take shape. It has always been written, no doubt, by my Maker, before time began, and through His providence He is revealing it to Me now in ways that honestly, reveals not only how great of a God He is, but how intimate of a friend He continues to be. As I write this, there are a lot of things both in my life, and in those lives that touch me personally on a daily basis that, to be as simplistic as I can be, do not make a bit of sense. Hearts are hurting. People are confused. Children are sick. Abuse is rampant. Unemployment is still an ugly reality. Separation is isolating. The list goes on and on and on. I do not know the reasons for everything, and I would be foolish to come across naive and blind to the fact that there are many more lessons to learn in this journey of mine. But one thing never has changed... this is hope that I have in Jesus Christ. This hope was a catalyst in my life before I was born. Before my parents were born. Before all there is, was... This is why life is hopeful for me now. This is why art is so beautiful to me now. This is why music is so inspiring for me now. This is why relationships are so important to me now. This is why my life has purpose now. This hope.
As the Lord reveals what He would have me do, I would ask for your prayers for me and my family. He is opening doors, creating opportunities, developing friendships, strengthening my career, reconciling relationships, and giving me an artistic flame in my soul that I have not had in years. As I look back over the past few years, as I said previously, there are some paths that the Lord allowed me to travel that are just now, through His truth and goodness, able to be viewed through a lens of clarity. Just seeing His faithfulness to me and my family has, in turn, made me that much more confident in His ability to take what I see as rough events in my life, and turn them into opportunities to mold me into the man I am predestined to become. In return, my prayer for you is that He would breathe life into your journey. Maybe you have hit a dry spell, a desert of circumstances that you cannot see any way out of. My prayer is that you stop staring at that open page ahead. You want to know the story, and believe me, it will have an incredible ending. Start over. Look back and re-read the chapters that have been written and see what an incredible story has unfolded so far. Don't worry about the chapters ahead, they have already been written...
As the Lord reveals what He would have me do, I would ask for your prayers for me and my family. He is opening doors, creating opportunities, developing friendships, strengthening my career, reconciling relationships, and giving me an artistic flame in my soul that I have not had in years. As I look back over the past few years, as I said previously, there are some paths that the Lord allowed me to travel that are just now, through His truth and goodness, able to be viewed through a lens of clarity. Just seeing His faithfulness to me and my family has, in turn, made me that much more confident in His ability to take what I see as rough events in my life, and turn them into opportunities to mold me into the man I am predestined to become. In return, my prayer for you is that He would breathe life into your journey. Maybe you have hit a dry spell, a desert of circumstances that you cannot see any way out of. My prayer is that you stop staring at that open page ahead. You want to know the story, and believe me, it will have an incredible ending. Start over. Look back and re-read the chapters that have been written and see what an incredible story has unfolded so far. Don't worry about the chapters ahead, they have already been written...
Monday, February 13, 2012
music...
As a musician and worship leader, I am constantly listening to all sorts of music, from the latest worship titles to every form of secular genres you can imagine, constantly looking for inspiration, for incarnation in the artistic brushstrokes of whatever is coming through in the musical medium. Some may call it unconventional, although I don't see myself as progressive in today's standards, but I am always looking both inside and outside the box of traditional church/worship music for that moment that stops me in my tracks, for those moments that make me stop what I am doing, and reflect on the beauty and creativity of the song. From the complexity of classical overtures, to the intricate tapestry of harmony and rhythm in the jazz genre...from the rich theology in the hymns of our heritage, to the life and excitement of the dance/electronic sub-genre...from the passion of the blues, to the way rock music speaks to the human experience, all music has the capability to inspire, to speak to you in a way that no other thing can. It naturally can be distorted, to be used as a medium of hate and human depravity, but that has more to do with the heart of both the creator and recipient of the communicated artwork. Not that I am by any means an expert by anyone's standards, but I wanted to take a few minutes tonight to list some songs that have make me pause, reflect, worship, and do some soul-searching, not necessarily all inclusive of every action, and yet not exclusive of any one form either. Some may communicate these actions through the lyrics, some may be more effective in the melody produced, and naturally, each will speak to ones soul in a different manner. At the bottom I have typed out the lyrics to a worship song by Jason Upton that, for some reason, I cannot stop thinking about. Some of the most thought provoking and humbling lyrics I have ever heard...anyways, enough rambling, so here they are...enjoy!
David Crowder Band- How He Loves
John Mayer- Gravity
Giacomo Puccini- Nessun Dorma
Thad Cockrell- Rosalyn
Jars of Clay- Frail
Samuel Barber- Adagio for Strings
Gaithers- There is a River
Andrew Belle- Make it Without You
Shane and Shane- The Answer
Rachmaninoff- Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini
Jamie Cullum- In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Matt Redman- 10,000 Reasons
Nickel Creek- Green and Gray
Beethoven-Piano Sonata No. 14 in C sharp minor (Moonlight Sonata)
Hillsong United- With Everything
Eric Church- Those I've Loved
David Phelps- No More Night
Dave Barnes- Your Love Will Never Change
Jason Upton- Power In Poverty (lyrics below)
There is a power in poverty that breaks principalities
it brings the authorities down to their knees
There is a brewing frustration and an ageless temptation
to fight for control by manipulation
The God of the Kingdoms and God of Creation, God of the Nations
sent this revelation through the homeless and penniless Jesus the Son
"The poor will inherit the Kingdom to come"
Where will we turn when our world falls apart and all of the treasures we stored in our barns, can't buy the Kingdom of God?
And who will we praise when we've praised all our lives, men who build kingdoms and men who build fame, but Heaven does not know their names?
And what are we going to fear, when all that remains is a God on the throne with a child in his arms and love in His eyes?
And the sound of His heart cry...
David Crowder Band- How He Loves
John Mayer- Gravity
Giacomo Puccini- Nessun Dorma
Thad Cockrell- Rosalyn
Jars of Clay- Frail
Samuel Barber- Adagio for Strings
Gaithers- There is a River
Andrew Belle- Make it Without You
Shane and Shane- The Answer
Rachmaninoff- Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini
Jamie Cullum- In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Matt Redman- 10,000 Reasons
Nickel Creek- Green and Gray
Beethoven-Piano Sonata No. 14 in C sharp minor (Moonlight Sonata)
Hillsong United- With Everything
Eric Church- Those I've Loved
David Phelps- No More Night
Dave Barnes- Your Love Will Never Change
Jason Upton- Power In Poverty (lyrics below)
There is a power in poverty that breaks principalities
it brings the authorities down to their knees
There is a brewing frustration and an ageless temptation
to fight for control by manipulation
The God of the Kingdoms and God of Creation, God of the Nations
sent this revelation through the homeless and penniless Jesus the Son
"The poor will inherit the Kingdom to come"
Where will we turn when our world falls apart and all of the treasures we stored in our barns, can't buy the Kingdom of God?
And who will we praise when we've praised all our lives, men who build kingdoms and men who build fame, but Heaven does not know their names?
And what are we going to fear, when all that remains is a God on the throne with a child in his arms and love in His eyes?
And the sound of His heart cry...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
second chances
It is midnight as I sit down and think about what I am about to write. So many thoughts are flooding my head right now about what to share, how to write it, and what subjects to touch on, that for a few minutes, the only thing I can do is just stare at this blank screen...and listen to the refrigerator hum... As someone who aspires creatively both in music and in writing to express his heart through an artistic medium, I intentionally have to look at ordinary everyday things, and pull a deeper insight, a greater meaning from them. Whether it is a book I read, conversations I overhear, music I listen to, poetry or blogs that I read, theology that I study, or people I observe, I am constantly finding that the more you take time to process more than the overtly obvious in things, that God expresses and teaches us amazing things in the details of life. Not to say that I am proposing that you do not need to simplify things ever, or make more of things than there is, I am just saying that sometimes we are to busy trying to figure out the whole story instead of reading the script.
Lately the script that has been written on my heart is the story of second chances. Of redemption. Of reconciliation. Of grace. Call it what you want, but the idea is the same nevertheless. To me, it is such a universally favored concept, yet most of us underestimate the power of the act, and the subsequent story that it produces. We all want second chances, but do we bestow grace on others? We want mulligans for our actions, but we are quick to condemn others to pay for their deeds. When did the act of condemnation start outweighing the power of reconciliation? I pray that we all read between the lines, and focus on those things that lead us, through a spirit of grace, to offer and receive second chances. I see families, torn apart by violence, drugs, money, etc... that the individuals are so guilt ridden, that all they need is hope, not scorn. I hear stories that have happy endings because a person, despite endangering themselves emotionally- and physically for that matter, have mended the heart of someone who had lost all hope. I see people, who instead of seeking unity and reconciliation to those whom they have disagreed in the past, actually digging through everything they can, albeit that they would have had no other desire before the rift to concern themselves in anything the other might have said, to find if they can conjure up any small disagreement. How is this good? I believe that we should know what we believe in, that we should be bold concerning truth and morality, but with graceful spirits and loving demeanour. Truth be told, none of us deserve second chances, and I thank God every day that he has been merciful in not giving me what I deserved. And we are to bestow this love on others. Good or bad. Pretty or ugly. Single, divorced, separated, widowed. Black, white, yellow, red. Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, Baptist, Non-denominational, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Atheist. Rich, poor. Whether they have burned you once or twenty times. Love others.
You see, I want to be a person who is rooting for that divorced mom. My natural inclination is to demonize her for the decisions that got her into the position she is currently in, but who am I? I want to be the person who respects the views and human rights of homosexuals. Hopefully they can see the love of Christ shining brighter in me than the condemnation and hatred. I am for them, as Christ's sacrifice is. I want to see human sex-slaves rescued, and victims healed. I pray that the woman who just walked out of that clinic will experience healing and restoration through Christ. I am for them, as Christ's sacrifice is. I am for the older generation who are dealing with the ghosts of the past, and think that redemption cannot conquer time and upbringing. I pray for second chances. I want to root for the the frat guy, the local grocer, the rape victim, the neighbor next door, the friend from high school, the boss, the enemy. I pray for second chances, I pray for unity. I pray for reconciliation.
As I typed this, and re-read it, my inadequacies as a human being and as a sinner fog my mind. I am not saying I am by no means perfect, and there is no one person that has not been guilty of being dis-graceful to another human being. I thank God every day for His Son, who by His love for us, humbled himself as a man, wrapped Himself in flesh, and came to die my death to reconcile me to Him. To offer grace to me, and to extend an opportunity of a second chance. I say these things in His name, for my adequacy is in Him, and my message is His. Grace flows freely. Redemption is here.
Selah
Lately the script that has been written on my heart is the story of second chances. Of redemption. Of reconciliation. Of grace. Call it what you want, but the idea is the same nevertheless. To me, it is such a universally favored concept, yet most of us underestimate the power of the act, and the subsequent story that it produces. We all want second chances, but do we bestow grace on others? We want mulligans for our actions, but we are quick to condemn others to pay for their deeds. When did the act of condemnation start outweighing the power of reconciliation? I pray that we all read between the lines, and focus on those things that lead us, through a spirit of grace, to offer and receive second chances. I see families, torn apart by violence, drugs, money, etc... that the individuals are so guilt ridden, that all they need is hope, not scorn. I hear stories that have happy endings because a person, despite endangering themselves emotionally- and physically for that matter, have mended the heart of someone who had lost all hope. I see people, who instead of seeking unity and reconciliation to those whom they have disagreed in the past, actually digging through everything they can, albeit that they would have had no other desire before the rift to concern themselves in anything the other might have said, to find if they can conjure up any small disagreement. How is this good? I believe that we should know what we believe in, that we should be bold concerning truth and morality, but with graceful spirits and loving demeanour. Truth be told, none of us deserve second chances, and I thank God every day that he has been merciful in not giving me what I deserved. And we are to bestow this love on others. Good or bad. Pretty or ugly. Single, divorced, separated, widowed. Black, white, yellow, red. Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, Baptist, Non-denominational, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Atheist. Rich, poor. Whether they have burned you once or twenty times. Love others.
You see, I want to be a person who is rooting for that divorced mom. My natural inclination is to demonize her for the decisions that got her into the position she is currently in, but who am I? I want to be the person who respects the views and human rights of homosexuals. Hopefully they can see the love of Christ shining brighter in me than the condemnation and hatred. I am for them, as Christ's sacrifice is. I want to see human sex-slaves rescued, and victims healed. I pray that the woman who just walked out of that clinic will experience healing and restoration through Christ. I am for them, as Christ's sacrifice is. I am for the older generation who are dealing with the ghosts of the past, and think that redemption cannot conquer time and upbringing. I pray for second chances. I want to root for the the frat guy, the local grocer, the rape victim, the neighbor next door, the friend from high school, the boss, the enemy. I pray for second chances, I pray for unity. I pray for reconciliation.
As I typed this, and re-read it, my inadequacies as a human being and as a sinner fog my mind. I am not saying I am by no means perfect, and there is no one person that has not been guilty of being dis-graceful to another human being. I thank God every day for His Son, who by His love for us, humbled himself as a man, wrapped Himself in flesh, and came to die my death to reconcile me to Him. To offer grace to me, and to extend an opportunity of a second chance. I say these things in His name, for my adequacy is in Him, and my message is His. Grace flows freely. Redemption is here.
Selah
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