life...

What a journey we have been on lately. I want to first say a happy 6 month old birthday to our Tucker! I cannot believe that it has been half a year since God gave him to us. It has definitely been a change for us, transitioning into parenthood, but oh how blessed we are! Now many people think that I am biased, or have a conflict of interest, but in my opinion, we have the best behaving, cutest, most personable baby there has ever been. Just saying... I went in the nursery earlier and was just watching him sleep and the rush of emotions hit me all of a sudden. Everything from his delivery day, to Julie's pregnancy, to thoughts back to my earliest childhood memories flashed in my mind. There is something about having a kid that makes you understand and appreciate your parents a little more. The sacrifices, the joys, the tears, and the love are all seen in a different light all of a sudden. God created Tucker just the way He wanted him, a reflection of His beauty and glory. My prayer tonight was that Tucker would grow up and live boldly fo God's glory, as His son, reflecting His majesty, and extending His grace to others. I also prayed that I would be the father that Julie and he needs me to be, and that God has predestined me to become. Other than that, it's all about being obedient to His will for our lives as a family.

Which brings me to my next subject. Obedience. God has led me to a place of complete surrender and dependency on Him in the past few weeks. See, I had never given up complete control of things, ever. There was always one hand still on the reigns. This was always convenient. It was comfortable. It was also moraly caustic and anti-God. And that realization stung, but humbled me. I've come to the realizaion that being obedient to His will for our lives sometimes requires us to give up the things that come between us and Him. It may be material things, it may be status. It may even be things that we thought we couldn't live without. But nevertheless He is in the process of stripping me of those things. And all I have left is to trust in Him. In his book "Sun Stand Still," Steven Furtick alludes to the fact that many Christians want radical faith, huge blessings, and great miricles, but do not realize that seeking His will for our lives may require us giving up everything we hold dear. Its obedience he says...God wants to replace those things which do not bring Him glory with those things that will. Wow did I need to hear that. It definitely puts circumstances, trials, and bad fortunes in a different light. The Christian life is not about less pain. Most likely you'll suffer greatly. But the grace and peace that He extends to us is greater than any trial could ever be. We just have to be obedient and have faith...for He is faithful.

a passion for compassion...

Alot of times in life, we tend to have a very selfish view of "problems." In the past few days, the Lord has used some situations in my life to expose this area of my soul. As some of you know, truck problems have plagued my last week and a half. Long story short, four reapair visits, three tows, and alot of inconvenience. Now, having that said, God has been so faithful through it all, and we have not had a situation where Tucker and Julie have been stranded or in any way in danger, so that is a blessing. But when a situation like this draws out over and over, we tend to think we have problems, no matter how positive we stay about the situation. But then came the other night. Let me start out by saying Julie loves Private Practice. I like it too, I just try to not get hooked on everything she watches. Well, if any of you watched it, then you can understand just how powerful and emotional that episode was. The episode was about sexual assault. I have seen movies and tv shows before dealing with this topic, but never like this. I guess it brought a perspective from the victim that I had never seen before. Most of the time it's more of a pity perspective from the outsiders view, or the horrible effects of it. But the emotional angle from the victim was unreal. And I couldn't get the images and thoughts from it out of my mind. I dreamed about it, I thought about it at work, I talked to Julie about it. It was difficult, I guess, to stomach it all day. That got me thinking about what I perceived as "problems." I have a healthy family, food on the table, great job, and no real big emotional scars. As my mind went on about a million different rabbit trails on situations that I knew of personally that were alot bigger of a deal than a stupid truck, I was convicted of my lack of compassion for people. As many of you know, I am a huge believer in personal responsibility, and sometimes I let the ideas of "life is about choices" and "you reap what you sow" build an emotional wall up around me. And that is wrong. People are seriously hurting. Many of them might even deserve it, but it still hurts the same. There are many of you that might be going through things that I cannot even imagine, and the thing is I would never even know. On Friday, this changed my perspective at work, and with customers. If I can show them love, and instill hope in them, in some way or form, then who knows how that can impact someone for the better. We just don't know what other people may be going through. So that led to this. What I am about to write is all rooted in some issues, topics, and real life situations that have been exposed to me recently. Now, I have to say, I do not know what people may be going through that read this, and I hope that this does not open wounds in a bad way, but to instill a perspective that I think needs to be shared...

She looks in the mirror
As she sheds another tear
And the decades of hell she's been living in
Has only been a year

The solitary torture
Has let fear command her soul
She doesn't want your useless pity
She just wants to be made whole

But every time she shuts her eyes
She can see her assaulters face
And what he took from her that night
No words can ever replace

And she cries...


He sees you almost everyday
You waive as you pass by
 Many times he's almost asked you
But for him he'd rather die

For his mortgage is not the issue
It's for his baby girl
Too see her out of ICU
He'd give up his whole world

But ever since the complications
It seems he has no world at all
For the other half of himself
Is in a bed just down the hall

And he cries...


It's been years since he left her
And the pain just will not die
Not that it's him she misses
Just someone that's by her side

Someone that she can lean on
And to their heart be dear
But since the day he ripped hers
No soul has she come near

And she tells herself these days are gone
As she lays her dreams to rest
No one could love her balding head
And scar across her breast

And she cries...


And from His throne in glory
Angels dancing all around
Over all the praise and celebration
No one else there heard the sound

The sound of pain and suffering
Heavenly hosts can't understand
But this King rules His kingdom
With nail scars on His hand

And to the cries of the broken
He turns His attentive ear
For He's conquered all our suffering
He's dried up all our tears

And He reaches down with loving arms
To give His daughter life
Anf He pays the bills of His son
And heals his daughter and  his wife

To His daughter he draws her closer
And says you now are cancer free
And if you're wishing for a lover of your soul
There's no lover as good as Me.



Guys lets start showing God's love to others. Lets have a passion for compassion. It may mean the world to someone...

cotton candy in the rearview...

Living almost an hour away from your work leaves alot of time for listening to music, for prayer, for...thinking. Alot of thinking and reflecting and drinking coffee. Yesterday was no exception. After a trying weekend, and rough Monday, I was in an unusually positive mood for a Tuesday. Thinking back to the trouble I had with my truck the past week, I was reflecting on just what I could learn and how I could see God working through it all. Situations could have been worse, as I was driving it, and my parents had come in for the weekend, so we had extra hands and wheels. I was reflecting on how it all seemed to work out in the end, and (you were right mom and dad) how something that seemed so bad at the time, seemed so petty now. It just so happened that it was sunrise as well. And due to me living east of my work, to watch the sunrise, I have to look in the rearview mirror. Yesterday's sky was unbelievable. Pinks, blues, and oranges splashed the morning sky, and to me it looked like God had thrown cotton candy all over the earth. Now ahead, it was pitch black, and kind of foggy. And ahead was a long 10 hour day. My mind was racing with thoughts of everything that could go wrong, and probably would, that day.  I found myself repeatedly looking back at the sunrise. It was much more inviting. It was visible. It was compelling. Ahead, the dark road seemed a little creepy as I wound down the mountain roads. Then everything started to make sense. This is what God was teaching me. I was looking in the rearview mirror of my life for direction, for happiness. But what is behind us is behind us. It is there for us to just reflect on. We cant see down the road ahead, but He wants us to pursue Him with everything we have. And just like employment, all we have to do is serve, be faithful, and give it all we have. Even though we may be going down roads in total darkness, when all is said and done, we'll look back and it will be all blue skies and cotton candy...